By Elisabeth Vincentelli
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” the song goes. “There’ll be parties for hosting/Billions of movies for bingeing.”
If the Andy Williams chestnut doesn’t actually mention streaming, that’s only because it came out long before Hallmark, UPtv, Great American Family and Lifetime decided to flood the holidays with movies. But because time is a finite resource, the following selection of new seasonal offerings focuses on releases from the major platforms. And remember: If you see someone stranded in a blizzard once, it’s a plot development. If you see it 10 times, it’s a cliche. If you see it 50 times, it’s a holiday-movie convention — and this time of year, we love conventions.
‘Dear Santa’
Stream it on Paramount+.
This year’s entry in the bad Santa subgenre goes all out. And that’s because the bearded, stocky guy in a red outfit is actually Satan (Jack Black). He has been summoned by young Liam (Robert Timothy Smith), who mistakenly switched two letters in his note to Santa. And now the devil won’t leave until Liam has requested three wishes, which sounds more straightforward than it turns out to be. “Dear Satan” does not fully deliver on this mouthwatering premise, which is surprising considering the movie is directed by a Farrelly brother (Bobby) and the casting is on point — you feel Black has waited all his life to play this part. Still, there are enough nuts for this fruitcake to go down easy.
Watch for: gastrointestinal distress.
‘Hot Frosty’
Stream it on Netflix.
The course of holiday love never did run smooth, but the budding romance between Kathy (Hallmark MVP Lacey Chabert) and Jack (Dustin Milligan) is hampered by an uncommon problem: He “could wake up tomorrow and be a puddle.”
That’s because Jack is a snowman who has magically come to life.
Director Jerry Ciccoritti swiftly mixes hot (Milligan has seriously hit the gym since his days as the vet Ted on “Schitt’s Creek”) and sweet (Jack has a newborn’s innocence), even if one might wish for a livelier performance from Chabert.
Watch for: references to earlier movies in the NCU (Netflix Christmas Universe).
‘Jingle Bell Love’
Stream it on the Roku Channel.
Another Jack (Joey McIntyre, from New Kids on the Block) is a widower visiting his former in-laws with his young daughter, Grace (Delia Lisette Chambers). There, he falls for Jessica (Michelle Morgan), who needs to rustle up $25,000 in five days to save her failing cafe. (Would it be Scrooge-y to point out that she could charge more than $2.50 for a latte and not give away cake pops?)
Despite solid screen and stage credits, McIntyre remains a stiff actor, but fortunately Morgan pulls him up in their scenes together,
and their comfy rapport makes this movie the equivalent of a well-worn blanket.
Watch for: vibrant singing from the New Kid.
‘Meet Me Next Christmas’
Stream it on Netflix.
Holiday movies aren’t known for their documentary-like realism, but even with lowered standards, “Meet Me Next Christmas” is a collection of head-scratching decisions and crazy coincidences. Yet it’s also surprisingly watchable thanks to Christina Milian’s energy and her chemistry with Devale Ellis (“Sistas”).
In an attempt to reconnect with her supposed soulmate (Kofi Siriboe), Milian’s Layla desperately tries to get a ticket to Pentatonix’s sold-out Christmas Eve show. Only one person can help, and it’s Ellis’ Teddy, who works for an elite concierge service. Director Rusty Cundieff hurls obstacles at Layla at a fast-paced clip while the members of Pentatonix provide a running commentary (thanks to an easily forgivable script contrivance). Oddly, it works.
Watch for: a lip-syncing contest that provides queer content in a seasonal crop largely devoid of it.
‘The Merry Gentlemen’
Stream it on Netflix.
You don’t need to know more than “‘Magic Mike’ with tinsel” to add this movie to your queue, but here goes. After being laid off from her long-running gig in a Broadway Christmas show, Ashley (the spry Britt Robertson) returns to her cozy hometown, only to learn that her parents are about to lose their small music venue. To raise money, Ashley stages an all-male revue with local hunks, including handyman Luke (Chad Michael Murray, from “One Tree Hill”).
Like many, many holiday movies this year, “The Merry Gentlemen” (directed by Peter Sullivan) revolves around saving a struggling business, which suggests a general climate of anxiety in this country. The solution this time is a bunch of guys who are so secure in their masculinity that they are willing to half-strip to help rather than lecture Ashley about crypto.
Watch for: the unbearably cute dog Gizmo Nolan.
‘The Night Before Christmas in Wonderland’
Stream it on Hulu and Amazon Prime Video.
On Christmas Eve, St. Nick (voiced by Gerard Butler) receives a letter from the Princess of Hearts (Eliza Riley), who requests a bandersnatch. He’s read Lewis Carroll so he knows what it is and sets off to Wonderland to deliver it. Unfortunately, the Christmas-hating Queen of Hearts (Emilia Clarke) has other plans.
Directed by Peter Baynton, this entertaining mashup of “A Visit from St. Nicholas” and “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” is a fine choice for the youngest family members, though older ones will get a kick out of the stylized animation — the movie is based on a book by Carys Bexington and follows the style of its illustrator, Kate Hindley. Amy Wadge (whose songwriting credits include Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud”) and Guy Chambers supply the excellent songs.
Watch for: surprisingly honorable rapping by Butler.
‘Nutcrackers’
Stream it on Hulu.
Ben Stiller playing a high-strung real estate executive feels like typecasting, but David Gordon Green’s movie — a return to the director’s indie sensibility — never goes where you expect while also fulfilling its seasonal mandate.
Stiller’s willfully single Michael must find a new foster family for his late sister’s four boys (played by real-life brothers Atlas, Arlo, Homer and Ulysses Janson), who were home-schooled on their semi-derelict Ohio farm. Tone is everything in this intimate gem, which looks like something François Truffaut would have shot in the Midwest. “Nutcrackers,” which often feels semi-improvised, is a tender movie that avoids saccharine, full of sentiment but not sentimentality.
Watch for: a truly affecting performance of “The Nutcracker.”
‘Our Little Secret’
Stream it on Netflix.
Giving a speech in church after eating a handful of THC gummies, eating a jar of cookies then blaming the dog: Lindsay Lohan is back!
Two years after starring in one of Netflix’s most popular holiday movies ever, “Falling for Christmas,” Lohan now plays Avery in this comedy directed by Stephen Herek. Over the course of the movie, Avery discovers to her horror that she and her ex, Logan (Ian Harding, from “Pretty Little Liars”), are going out with siblings. The best option seems to hide that connection during a Christmas family gathering, which of course will go completely awry.
Watch for: every apparition by Kristin Chenoweth as the siblings’ meanie mother.
‘The Snow Sister’
Stream it on Netflix.
Fans of movies that take children’s feelings seriously should check out Cecilie Mosli’s “The Snow Sister,” from Norway. When we meet young Julian (Mudit Gupta), he is still reeling from the death of his sister a few months earlier, for reasons the movie handles delicately. Julian befriends Hedvig (Celina Meyer Hovland), a little girl who seems to be new in town, and slowly she helps him get out of his funk. Hedvig is surrounded by secrets, though: Where are her parents? And who is the old man (Jan Saelid) lurking by her house? The answers are heartbreaking, so make sure you have tissues next to the remote.
Watch for: the impactful reveal of the old man’s identity.
‘Style Me for Christmas’
Stream it on BET+.
Come for R&B singer Mario as R&B singer Tedee, stay for the effervescent Raven Goodwin as the effervescent stylist Tiffany. The premise is familiar by now: Tiffany has fallen behind on the rent for her Atlanta boutique. Being hired to spruce up Tedee’s look sounds like the miracle she was waiting for, but alas the gig is a cover to rehabilitate Tedee’s tarnished reputation and boost his Christmas album’s sales.
Wisely, director LazRael Lison lets Goodwin work her magic, and she steers “Style Me for Christmas” with the confidence her character lacks — at first, because this is all about how Tiffany got her groove.
Watch for: a montage of Tiffany and Tedee being silly together.
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